--Sears Virus: Your data won't appear unless you buy new cables, power supply and a set of shocks. --Jimmy Hoffa Virus: Your programs can never be found again. --Congressional Virus #2: Runs every program on the hard drive simultaneously, but doesn't allow the user to accomplish anything. --Kevorkian Virus: Helps your computer shut down as an act of mercy. --Imelda Marcos Virus: Sings you a song (slightly off key) on boot up, then subtracts money from your Quicken account and spends it all on expensive shoes it purchases through Prodigy. --Star Trek Virus: Invades your system in places where no virus has gone before.