Lewinsky virus: Sucks all the memory out of your computer, then e-mails everyone about what it did. Ronald Reagan virus: Saves your data, but forgets where it is stored. Mike Tyson virus: Quits after one byte. Oprah Winfrey virus: Your 300MB hard drive suddenly shrinks to 100MB, then slowly expands to 200MB. Dr. Jack Kevorkian virus: Deletes all old files. Ellen Degeneres virus: Disks can no longer be inserted. Titanic virus: Your whole computer goes down. Disney virus: Everything in your computer goes Goofy. Prozac virus: Screws up your RAM but your processor doesn't care Joey Buttafuoco virus: Only attacks minor files Arnold Schwarzenegger virus: Terminates some files, leaves, but is certain to be back. Lorena Bobbit virus: Reformats your hard drive into a 3.5 inch floppy then discards through windows. Viagra virus: Makes a hard drive out of an old floppy.