One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor. Could it be that all those trick-or-treaters wearing sheets aren't going as ghosts but as mattresses? If man evolved from monkeys and apes, why do we still have monkeys and apes? The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live. Isn't it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do "practice?" Where do forest rangers go "to get away from it all?" Why do they lock gas station bathrooms? Are they afraid someone will clean them? How do they get the deer to cross at that yellow road sign? And whose cruel idea was it for the word "Lisp" to have an "S" in it? Don't sweat the petty things and don't pet the sweaty things. If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation? What do you do when you see an endangered animal eating an endangered plant? If a parsley farmer is sued, can they garnish his wages? Would a fly without wings be called a walk? If a turtle doesn't have a shell, is he homeless or naked? Can vegetarians eat animal crackers? If the police arrest a mime, does he still have the right to remain silent? Do they sterilize the needles for lethal injections? Why did kamikaze pilots wear helmets? Is it true that cannibals don't eat clowns because they taste funny?