.. you know the 'correct' pronunciation of Buena Vista, and Ouray. .. you think there are only 3 seasons: elk, football, and skiing. .. April showers bring May blizzards. .. You can never figure out why your out-of-town guests faint from altitude sickness on a picnic to the mountains. .. You're able to drive 65 miles per hour through 13 feet of snow during a raging snow storm without flinching. .. You can drive over a 12,000-foot pass in 4 feet of snow, but can't drive to work if there is 4 inches of snow. .. You know what the 'Peoples Republic of Boulder' means. .. You know what a 'Chinock' is. .. You are a meat eating vegetarian. .. You car insurance costs more than your car. .. You have surge protectors on every outlet. .. You know what a 'Rocky Mountain Oyster' is. .. 'Timberline' is someplace you have actually been. .. You know what a 'fourteener' is. .. You don't know what a 'turn signal' is. .. When you visit friends at sea level, you can drink a case of beer and not get a buzz. .. Thunder has set off your car alarm. .. When you switch from 'Heat' to 'A/C' in the same day. .. you see someone riding a Harley in a snowstorm, and you look closer to see if it's someone you know. .. You design your kid's Halloween costume to fit over a snowsuit. .. You think that sexy lingerie is wool socks and flannel PJs. .. Timberline is someplace you have actually been, many times. .. You know who Alfred Packer was. .. You think your major food groups are granola bars, tofu and Fat Tire beer. .. A bear on your front porch doesn't bother you as much as a Republic in Congress does. .. Your golf bag has a 9-iron, a 3-wood and a lightning rod. .. SPF 90 is not out of the question. .. You take your out of town guests to Casa Bonita even though you never go there otherwise. .. People from other states breathe 5 times as often as you do. .. Having a Senator named 'Nighthorse' doesn't seem strange. .. A full moon has never kept you awake. .. You have an $800 stereo in a $300 truck. .. Knowing that Texas and California are downstream gives you a certain feeling of satisfaction when you flush. .. You carry one of your $3,000 mountain bikes on top of your $500 car. .. You have a business degree and are frying burgers at a McDonald's in Vail. .. You think red lights means 3 more cars can go. .. You own a big dog named Aspen, Buck, Cheyenne, Tucker or Dakota that wears a bandanna. .. You think a pass does not involve a football or a woman. .. You can recognize the license plates of all 50 states on sight. .. You are 82 years old and take up snowboarding. .. You give driving directions that include 'go over ______ Pass'. .. Your real Y2K fear was running out of Celestial Seasonings tea and trail mix. .. The entire top of your head is bald, but you still have a pony tail. .. Where we are going, we don't need roads!! .. You know all 4 seasons .. almost winter, winter, still winter and spring blizzards .. You have been tear gassed in a riot to celebrate a CU/CSU football victory. .. You get depressed after one day of cloudy weather. .. You know where the real 'South Park' is. .. You've dressed in shorts, sandals and a parka with a hood. .. You've gone snow skiing in July and ... .. You've played golf in January and ... .. They were in the same year. .. You think that formal wear is ironed denim. .. North means "mountains to the left;" south is "mountains to the right;" and east and west are where all those liberals keep moving in from. .. You go anywhere else on the planet and the air feels "sticky" and you notice the sky is no longer blue. .. You consider a three-piece suit to be a pair of shorts, a sweatshirt, and Birkenstocks. .. Your bridal registry is at REI. .. You can run up 10 flights of stairs without huffing and puffing. .. You have stood on solid ground and looked down on an airplane in flight. .. You have seen an Aspen quake. .. When words 'chain law' don't make you quake. .. When you get to sit in the purple seats at a Rockies game. .. You've pissed on the Continental Divide just so it could run into both oceans. .. You know what a down slope and an up slope weather pattern is. .. And the most important: You get a certain feeling of satisfaction from knowing that California and Texas are both down stream. .. When you send this to your friends back east.