Womens English 1) Yes = No 2) No = Yes 3) Maybe = No 4) I'm sorry = Youll be sorry. 5) We need... = I want.... 6) Its your decision = The correct decision should be obvious by now. 7) We need to talk = I need to complain. 8) Sure...go ahead = I don't want you to. 9) I'm not upset = Of course I'm upset, you moron! 10) You're...so manly = You need a shave and you sweat a lot. 11) You're certainly attentive tonight = Is sex all you ever think about? 12) Be romantic, turn out the lights = I have flabby thighs. 13) This kitchen is so inconvenient = I want a new house. 14) I want new curtains = ....and carpeting, and furniture, and wallpaper.... 15) Hang the picture there = NO, I mean hang it there! 16) I heard a noise = I noticed you were almost asleep. 17) Do you love me? = I'm going to ask for something expensive. 18) How much do you love me? = I did something today you're really not going to like. 19) I'll be ready in a minute = Kick off your shoes and find a good game on TV. 20) Is my butt fat? = Tell me I'm beautiful. 21) You have to learn to communicate = Just agree with me. 22) Was that the baby? = Why don't you get out of bed and walk him until he goes to sleep. 23) I am not yelling! = I'm yelling because I think this is important. Mens English 1) I'm hungry = I'm hungry. 2) I'm sleepy = I'm sleepy. 3) I'm tired = I'm tired. 4) Do you want to go to a movie? = I'd eventually like to have sex with you. 5) Can I take you out to dinner? = I'd eventually like to have sex with you. 6) Can I call you sometime? = I'd eventually like to have sex with you. 7) May I have this dance? = I'd eventually like to have sex with you. 8) Nice dress! = Nice cleavage! 9) You look tense, let me give you a massage = I want to fondle you. 10) Whats wrong? = I dont see why you are making such a big deal out of this. 11) Whats wrong? = What meaningless self-inflicted psychological trauma are you going through now? 12) Whats wrong? = I guess sex tonight is out of the question. 13) I'm bored = Do you want to have sex? 14) I love you = Lets have sex now. 15) I love you, too = Okay, I said it...we'd better have sex now! 16) Yes, I like the way you cut your hair = I liked it better before. 17) Yes, I like the way you cut your hair = $50 and it doesnt look that much different! 18) Lets talk = I am trying to impress you by showing that I am a deep person and maybe then you'd like to have sex with me. 19) Will you marry me? = I want to make it illegal for you to have sex with other guys. 20) (while shopping) I like that one better = Pick any freaking dress and lets go home! 21) I dont think that blouse and that skirt go well together. = I am gay.