In Crown Point, Indiana, police have re-opened the case of a man who died from 32 hammer blows to his head. The cause of death had been ruled a suicide, in spite of the County coroner's opinion that a man simply could not remain conscious long enough to hit himself in the head 32 times... 25, 26... wait, how many was that?... Police in La Crosse, Wisconsin, arrested a suspect who accosted a woman near an automatic teller machine and menaced her with a knife. The man told police that he wasn't trying to rob her-- he only wanted to sell her the knife.... After robbing restaurant manager Janice Head at knifepoint and taking her purse, her assailant was so smitten that he called to ask her out. Police arrested the man when he arrived for their date... The London Times has reported some serious breaches of health regulations in British hospitals, including the finding of dead cockroaches in the food served at the Royal Free Hospital in Lancashire. The catering manager of the hospital apologized for the problem but explained that the insects posed no health risks, as long as they were cooked to the correct temperature... When a British schoolboy was unable to remove a vase that was struck on his head, he was rushed to the hospital on a city bus. According to reports, in an attempt to make the boy look more normal to the other passengers, his mother placed his school cap on top of the vase.... Albert Collins, a 66-year-old apartment manager in Kansas City, went to the apartment of a tenant to complain about the noise being made. Collins reported to police that he told the tenant he had had "an earful" of the excess noise. Replying that he would "fix that", the angry tenant seized Collins by the hair and bit off part of his ear... there goes the damage deposit... Police in San Mateo, California, arrested a man for stealing a 400 lb. safe from a restaurant less than a block from his home. Alert officers simply followed the gouge-marks the safe left in the concrete as he dragged it home... A Toronto gas station attendant had no trouble identifying a robber for police, even though the man had worn a pair of women's panties over his head as a disguise. The thief, who later admitted that his mind was clouded by intoxicants, had stuck his face through one of the leg-holes so he could see... And after the same man had held up a Michigan bank for the third time, the Detroit Free Press reports that the teller told police, "Each time he's better dressed." In Ottawa, Canada, a woman calling herself Lady Rhoda claims to have X-ray vision. She was recently arrested and charged with reckless driving when she struck a pedestrian during a demonstration of driving while blindfolded... Until 175 years ago, anyone convicted of attempting suicide in Britain was hanged... well at least they won't try that again... After his 67 foot shrimp boat sank in the Gulf of Mexico, captain Ira Peete told reporters that he had "hooked into something that pulled the stern of the boat right off." The crewmen were rescued and no one was injured in the incident. The captain said he has no idea what he hooked... but we know... a jumbo shrimp... A teenager who deposited a candy wrapper in an automatic teller machine found his account credited with 500 thousand dollars, according to a report from Auckland, New Zealand. The boy withdrew about $750 before confessing to a school teacher... what we want to know is: what kind of candy wrapper works best? Law enforcement officers in Oldham, England, had no trouble identifying Roy Phillips as the shoplifter they were looking for. The suspect was wearing a yellow shirt, yellow pants, and a yellow tie. Additionally, every item he had taken from the store was also yellow, including Scotch eggs, jellies, mustard, cheese, socks, and 3 pair of yellow underpants.... In a sad note, the National Council of Pork Producers announced that it will no longer sponsor its annual beauty pageant. It seems that nobody really wants to be National Pork Queen... Francis Karnes, a 39-year-old man in Sacramento, California, was charged with reckless endangerment after he pulled a gun and shot his lawnmower when it wouldn't start... and of course, you heard about those awful chainsaw massacres in Texas... A waitress in Long Island has run over herself with her car. The woman was on her way home when she somehow fell out of the car, which was thrown into reverse and circled backward over the woman three times...