@ 1. I'm not offended by all the dumb blonde jokes because I know I'm not dumb...and I also know that I'm not blonde. [Dolly Parton] 2. You see a lot of smart guys with dumb women, but you hardly ever see a smart woman with a dumb guy. [Erica Jong] 3. I want to have children, but my friends scare me. One of my friends told me she was in labour for 36 hours. I don't even want to do anything that feels good for 36 hours. [Rita Rudner] 4. My husband and I are either going to buy a dog or have a child. We can't decide to ruin our carpet or ruin our lives. [Rita Rudner] 5. I've been on so many blind dates, I should get a free dog. [Wendy Liebman] 6. Never lend your car to anyone to whom you have given birth. [Erma Bombeck] 7. If high heels were so wonderful, men would be wearing them. [Sue Grafton] 8. I'm not going to vacuum `til Sears makes one you can ride on. [Roseanne Barr] 9. I think -- therefore I'm single. [Lizz Winstead] 10."When women are depressed they either eat or go shopping. Men invade another country." [Elayne Boosler] 11."Behind every successful man is a surprised woman." [Maryon Pearson] 12."I base most of my fashion taste on what doesn't itch." [Gilda Radner] 13."In politics, if you want anything said, ask a man; if you want anything done, ask a woman." [Margaret Thatcher] 14."If I were going to convert to any religion I would probably choose Catholicism because it at least has female saints and the Virgin Mary." [Margaret Atwood] 15."I have yet to hear a man ask for advice on how to combine marriage and a career." [Gloria Steinhem] 16."Some of us are becoming the men we wanted to marry." [Gloria Steinhem] 17."I never married because there was no need. I have three pets at home which answer the same purpose as a husband. I have a dog which growls every morning, a parrot which swears all afternoon and a cat that comes home late at night." [Marie Corelli] 18."Nagging is the repetition of unpalatable truths." [Baroness Edith Summerskill] 19."If men can run the world, why can't they stop wearing neckties? How intelligent is it to start the day by tying a little noose around your neck?" [Linda Ellerbee] 20."I am a marvellous housekeeper. Every time I leave a man I keep his house." [Zsa Zsa Gabor]