"SAYINGS"

For a REAL sponge cake, BORROW all the ingredients.

Madness takes its toll; please have exact change...

Which is the nonsmoking lifeboat?

Originality is the art of concealing your sources.

Just fill out one simple form to win an IRS Audit!

Would the Standing Committee please sit down?

The difference between tax avoiding and tax evasion is 10 Years.

Circular Definition: see Definition, Circular.

A.A.A.A.A. - An organization for drunks who drive.

It said 'Insert disk #3', but only two will fit.

Why experiment on animals with so many lawyers out there?

Paper clips are the larval stage of coat hangers.

Contents may have settled out of court.

If idiots could fly, then Capital Hill would be an airport.

Democracy: Four wolves and a lamb voting on lunch.

Improve mail delivery... mail the postmen their pay!!

Treat each day as your last, one day you will be right.

Old is always fifteen years older than I am.

I am the root of some evil... send some money.

The buck doesn't even slow down here!

Don't assume malice for what stupidity can explain.

If you think talk is cheap, try hiring a lawyer.

Don't be sexist. Broads hate that.

The only cure for insomnia is to get more sleep.

Don't question authority..... It hasn't got a clue!!!!!

Advice is free: The right answer will cost plenty.

Stupidity does not qualify as a handicap, park elsewhere!

Looking for a helping hand? There's one on your arm.

Don't take life too seriously, it's not permanent.

Don't Insult the Alligator till after you cross the river.

The trouble with political jokes is they get elected.

A conclusion is where you got tired of thinking.

Nothing's impossible for those who don't have to do it.

History is a set of lies agreed upon by the victor.

After four decimal places, nobody cares.

Two can live as cheaply as one, for half as long.

War never decides who is right, only who is left.

A job is nice but it interferes with my life.

'Criminal Lawyer' is a redundancy.

Don't worry: the answer's at the back of the book.

A crowded elevator smells different to a midget.

We do precision guesswork.

My life has a superb cast, but I can't figure out the plot.

Don't let school interfere with your education.

Where there's a will, there's a lawsuit.

A penny saved is a Congressional oversight.

Smash forehead on keyboard to continue...

How does AVON find so many women willing to take orders?