I've learned- that you cannot make someone love you. All you can do is stalk them and hope they panic and give in. I've learned- that no matter how much I care, some people are just assholes. I've learned- that it's not what you have in your life that counts but how much you have in your bank accounts. I've learned - that you can get by on charm for about fifteen minutes. After that, you'd better have a big dick or huge tits. I've learned- that you shouldn't compare yourself to others - they are more fucked up than you think. I've learned- that you can keep puking long after you think you 're finished. I've learned- that sometimes the people you expect to kick you when you're down will be the ones who do. I've learned- that we don't have to ditch bad friends because their dysfunction makes us feel better about ourselves. I've learned- that no matter how you try to protect your children, they will eventually get arrested and end up in the local paper. I've learned- that overzealous customs agents can change your life in a matter of hours. I've learned- that the people you care most about in life are taken from you too soon. And all the less important ones just never go away.