1.I want to die peacefully in my sleep like my grandfather. Not screaming in terror like his passengers. Michael Aulfrey If you don't go to other men's funerals, they won't go to yours. Clarence Day 2.If all the cars in the United States were placed end to end, it would probably be Labor Day Weekend. Doug Lars 3.I was going to buy a copy of The Power of Positive Thinking, and then I thought: What the hell good would that do? Ronnie Shakes 4.Somewhere on this globe, every ten seconds, there is a woman giving birth to a child. She must be found and stopped. Sam Levenson (1911-1980) 5.I can please only one person per day. Today is not your day. Tomorrow isn't looking good either. Kevin Nelson 6.The brain is a wonderful organ. It starts working the moment you get up in the morning and does not stop until you get into the office. Robert Frost 7.The reason grandparents and grandchildren get along so well is that they have a common enemy. Sam Levenson 8.I like a woman with a head on her shoulders. I hate necks. Steve Martin 9.Fall is my favorite season in Los Angeles, watching the birds change color and fall from the trees. David Letterman 10.USA Today has come out with a new survey - apparently, three out of every four people make up 75% of the population. David Letterman