1. You hear the number "82" and grab a shovel.
2. You merge onto the highway at 15 miles an hour.
3. You have absolutely no recognizable accent.
4. If the humidity gets above 25%, you consider it "Muggy".
5. You only go to Lodo when friends are in from out of town.
6. You have been skiing less than 3 times in your life.
7. You actually think 5-points is a ghetto.
8. You are the third car to run a red light after it has changed.
9. You say things like "I don't care how big Parker is, it's still a
one-horse town".
10. You think only stupid people get lost in this town.
11. When giving directions, you never say "Turn left, turn right", it's
always go West, then South.
12. You know where the city ended when you were a kid, and would never
move further out than that boundary.
13. You hear "Governor Owens" and you still think they're talking
about some other states governor.
14. There is not enough money in the world to get you to move to the
Springs.
15. During a thunderstorm you wonder "Which I-25 underpass is
flooding".
16. You never plan a picnic between 3:30 and 6:00 in Spring or
Summer months.
17. If it rains more than 2 days straight you compare the weather to
being in Seattle.
18. Thornton, Northglenn and Westminster are "Another State".
19. You voted for higher taxes to fund Coors field, but voted down
taxes for public transportation.
20. You have a broken windshield.
21. You see no reason to travel to Aurora.
22. The only RTD bus you've been on is the 16th Street shuttle.

Terms:
Big mac- A sports venue, not a hamburger.
LoDo- A tourist trap with expensive condos, not an extinct bird.
"Little California" = Highlands Ranch
The Springs- Colorado Springs, where the religious freaks live.
Independant or Peoples Republic of Boulder = Where the rest of the
freaks live.
The Donkeys- The Broncos when they are losing.
"Californicators" = Californians
"Ass-Holes" = Texans
"The narrows" = I-25 between University and Broadway
"Jolly Green Giants Golf Balls = Buckley A.N.G.
"tourists" = people driving on the 16th street mall.
"Damn Rockies" = What one says looking for a parking spot Downtown