A few french fries short of a Happy Meal. A few tiles missing from his space shuttle. A few too many lights out in his Christmas tree. An experiment in Artificial Stupidity. An intellect rivaled only by garden tools. Attic's a little dusty. Caboose seems to be pulling the engine. CPU not connected to the bus. Cursor's flashing but there's no response. Doesn't have all his cornflakes in one box. Doesn't quite sample at the Nyquist rate. Elevator doesn't go all the way to the top floor (a classic). Full throttle, dry tank. Has all the brains God gave a duck's ass. Has his solar panels aimed at the moon. Has only one chopstick in the chowmein. Hasn't got all his china in the cupboard. His seat back is not in the full upright and locked position. If he were any more stupid, he'd have to be watered twice a week. If his IQ was two points higher he'd be a rock. In need of a ROM upgrade. Isn't carrying a full set of golf clubs. Just another flash in the bedpan. Life by Norman Rockwell, but screenplay by Stephen King. Missing a few buttons on his remote control. Needs his sleeves lengthened by a couple of feet so they can be tied in the back. No filter in the coffeemaker. No grain in the silo. No hay in the loft. Not digging in the same ditch with the rest of us. One live brain cell away from being a talking monkey. One of the early failures of electroshock therapy. Out there where the buses don't run. Receiver is off the hook. Sort of like an inverse Einstein. Surfing in Nebraska. Swimming in the shallow end of the gene pool. The best part of him ran down his mother's legs.-- Jackie Gleason (ouch) The fan is working but the freon's leaked out. The wheel's spinning but the hamster's dead. thinks in lower case and types accordingly Too many birds on her antenna. Unclear which of Newton's three laws of motion keeps his ears apart. Uses his head to keep the rain out of his neck. Watches "Beavis and Butthead" to learn vocabulary. And my personal favorite - "out there just beyond dial tone"