Good: Your hubby and you agree, no more kids Bad: You can't find your birth control pills Ugly: Your daughter borrowed them Good: Your son studies a lot in his room Bad: You find several porn movies there Ugly: You're in them Good: Your husband understands fashion Bad: He's a cross dresser Ugly: He looks better than you! Good: Your son is finally maturing Bad: He's involved with the woman next door Ugly: So are you Good: You give the bird and the bees talk to your daughter Bad: She keeps interrupting you Ugly: With corrections Good: Your wife is not talking to you Bad: She wants a divorce Ugly: She's a lawyer Good: The postman's early Bad: He's wearing fatigues and carrying an AK47 Ugly: You gave him nothing for Christmas Good: You flirt with a gorgeous woman at a party Bad: Your wife notices Ugly: You're married to Lorena Bobbitt Good: You talk your wife into taking a Viagra pill. Bad: She gets it stuck in her throat. Ugly: She misses three days of work because of a stiff neck. Good: A beautiful redhead at a party drags you into a closet. Bad: You discover just a moment too late, she has the same equipment as you. Ugly: Hers is larger than yours. Good: Your 22 year old daughter got a new job. Bad: It's at the White House. Ugly: She will be working for the President.