1. Well, this day was a total waste of make-up. 2. Make yourself at home! Clean my kitchen. 3. Who are these kids and why are they calling me Mom? 5. Don't bother me. I'm living happily ever after. 6. Do I look like a freakin' people person? 7. This isn't an office. It's Hell with fluorescent lighting. 8. I started out with nothing and still have most of it left. 9. I pretend to work. They pretend to pay me. 10. If I throw a stick, will you leave? 11. You! Off my planet! 12. Therapy is expensive, poppin' bubble wrap is cheap. You choose. 13. I like cats too. Let's exchange recipes. 14. If I want to hear the pitter patter of little feet, I'll put shoes on my cat. 15. Did the aliens forget to remove your anal probe? 17. And just how may I screw you over today? 19. I'm not a cranky person, I've just been in a very bad mood for 30 years. 20. If only you'd use your powers for good instead of evil ... 21. Allow me to introduce my selves. 22. Sarcasm is just one more service we offer. 23. Whatever kind of look you were going for, you missed. 24. Suburbia: where they tear out the trees and then name streets after them. 25. Do they ever shut up on your planet? 26. I'm just working here till a good fast-food job opens up. 29. I'm trying to imagine you with a personality. 30. A cubicle is just a padded cell without a door. 31. Stress is when you wake up screaming and you realize you haven't fallen asleep yet. 34. Don't worry. I forgot your name too! 35. Adults are just kids who owe money. 38. I just want revenge. Is that so wrong? 40. You say I'm a bitch like it's a bad thing. 41. Can I trade this job for what's behind door number 2? 42. Nice perfume. Must you marinate in it? 43. Not all men are annoying. Some are dead. 44. Too many freaks, not enough circuses. 45. Chaos, panic, and disorder - my work here is done. 46. A woman's favorite position is CEO. 47. Ambivalent? Well, yes and no. 49. Everyone thinks I'm psychotic, except for my friends deep inside the earth. 50. Is it time for your medication or mine? 52. I thought I wanted a career, turns out I just wanted paychecks. 53. How do I set a laser printer to stun? 55. I'm not tense, just terribly, terribly alert.