Before: You take my breath away After: You're suffocating me Before: Twice a night After: Twice a month Before: I love the way you take charge of a situation After: You're a controlling, manipulating egomaniac Before: Lucy and Ricky After: Fred and Ethel Before: Saturday night fever After: Monday night football Before: He makes me feel like a million dollars After: If I had a dime for every stupid thing he's done... Before: Don't stop! After: Don't start! Before: The sound of music After: The sound of silence Before: Is that all you're having? After: Maybe you should just have the salad, honey. Before: Wheel of fortune After: Jeopardy Before: It's like I'm living in a dream After: It's like he's living in a dorm Before: $60.00/dozen roses After: $1.50/stem rose Before: Turbo charged After: Jump start Before: We agree on everything After: Don't you have a mind of your own? Before: Victoria's Secret After: Fruit of the Loom Before: Charming and noble After: Chernobyl Before: Feathers and handcuffs After: Ball and chain Before: Idol After: Idle Before: I love a woman with curves After: I never said you were fat Before: He's completely lost without me! After: Why won't you ever ask for directions? Before: Time stood still After: This relationship is going nowhere Before: Croissant and cappuccino After: Toast and instant coffee Before: Blind After: Nearsighted Before: You look so seductive in black After: Your clothes are so depressing Before: Oysters After: Fishsticks Before: I can hardly believe we found each other After: I can't believe I ended up with someone like you Before: Passion After: Ration Before: Once upon a time After: The end