Men are like... Laxatives: They irritate the shit out of you. Men are like... Bananas: The older they get, the less firm they are. Men are like... Vacations: They never seem to be long enough. Men are like... Weather: Nothing can be done to change them. Men are like... Blenders: You need one, but you're not sure quite why. Men are like... Chocolate bars: Sweet, smooth & they usually head right for your hips. Men are like... Coffee: The best ones are rich, warm & can keep you up all night long. Men are like... Commercials: You can't believe a word they say. Men are like... Department stores: Their clothes are always 1/2 off. Men are like... Government bonds: They take soooo long to mature. Men are like... Horoscopes: They always tell you what to do & are usually wrong. Men are like... Mascara: They usually run at the first sign of emotion. Men are like... Popcorn: They satisfy you, but only for a little while. Men are like... Snowstorms: You never know when they're coming, how many inches you'll get or how long it will last. Men are like... Lava Lamps: Fun to look at, but not very bright. Men are like... Parking spots: All the good ones are taken, the rest are handicapped