1. You have an uncontrollable urge to buy bread and milk when you hear the word "snow." 2. You say the correct pronunciation LAN-kist-er instead of the mispronounced Lang-CAST-er, and >LEB-nin instead of the equally incorrect Leb-a-NON. 3. You know the only way to make good Fastnachts is to cook them in LARD. 4. You live within two miles of a plant that makes potato chips, corn chips, pretzels, candy, or ice cream, or that packages turkeys, beans, or bologna. 5. You ask the waitress for "dippy eggs" for breakfast. 6. You do things "once," as in "I'll go check in the back room once." 7. You can stop along the road to buy fruits, vegetables, or crafts on the "honor system." 8. You know what REAL pot pie is. 9. YOUR turkey has "filling," not "stuffing," and most certainly, NOT "dressing." 10. You know that chicken corn soup from a firehouse is the most nearly perfect food on earth. 11. Your neighbors' names are Driebelbis, Stoltfus, Lebo, Peachey, Yoder or anything ending in "-baugh or -ouch." 12. You say things like, "Outen the lights," "I'm calling off today," and "They're calling for snow." 13. You've heard of distelfinks and hex signs. 14. Red Beet Eggs makes your list of top ten favorite foods. 15. You pronounce "Suite" as SUIT, not SWEET. 16. You say you're going out to the shed "AWHILE," instead of "FOR AWHILE." 17. You only buy your beer and soda by the case. 18. You think the roads in any other state are smooth. 19. You know that things need done, or the car needs washed, or something needs filled not that things need to be done, or the car needs to be washed, or something needs to be filled. 20. Hearing horses clopping down a paved street doesn't bring you to the window to see what's going on outside. 21. You never see any Confederate Flags, except on the Gettysburg Battlefield. 22. You prefer Hershey's Chocolate to Godiva. 23. You consider Pittsburgh to be "out west," and you know the fastest way to Philly is the Turnpike. 24. School closings due to snow take the radio stations a half an hour to finish, because just about every town has its own school district. 25. When someone says 1972, you think "Agnes," and when someone says 1979, you think "TMI." 26. You call Sloppy Joes "barbecue." 27. You think Medium Rare equals Well Done. 28. When it snows, they put cinders on the roads instead of sand. 29. Things "need rinzed in the crick" not "need to be rinsed in the creek." 30. You can give directions to Intercourse with a straight face.