Real Women Engineers..... Real engineers wear jewelry made from discarded motherboards. Contrary to popular belief, real engineers do put on nail polish; they just never remove it. Real engineers keep getting thrown out of Victoria's Secret because they insist on knowing the exact tensile strength of their bras before buying them. Real engineers only wear slipon shoes (with or without heels) so they can take them off to sit cross-legged in their chairs while programming. Real engineers don't shave their legs above the hemline, in the interest of efficiency. Also in the interest of efficiency, real engineers drive convertibles so they can blow-dry their hair on the way to work in the morning. Real engineers fix the runs in their pantyhose with duct tape. Real engineers cinch their biking skirts with cable ties. Real engineers only buy purses big enough to fit their laptops in. Real engineers carry two cans of soup, a yogurt (and a spoon), a box of Triscuits and a package of light Hostess Cupcakes in their purses at all times, in case they pull an all-nighter. Real engineers buy their husband matching screwdrivers for Christmas, but use them more than he does. Real engineers are excited at their first periods, but mostly because it gives them a chance to use the biometric viscosity measurement tools in their science kits. Real engineers read the toxic shock inserts in the tampon box. Real engineers schedule their yearly Pap smear around their beta release schedule. Real Engineers look on having a baby as an opportunity to brush up on biomedical and structural engineering in preparation for taking the PE exam. Real engineers get narcotics during labor, not for the pain, but to stop them from taking the fetal distress monitor apart and examining its inner workings between contractions. Real engineers keep their key chains and pen pocket protectors on even during labor. Real engineers not only nurse and program at the same time, but they lull their babies to sleep by the clacking of the keyboard. Real Engineers figure out how to nurse and fix the toaster at the same time. Real Engineers figure out algorithms to minimize thread usage when doing cross-stitch embroidery. Real engineers make cantilevered birthday cakes (but never provide documentation on how to cut them!) Real engineers never spell in front of the kids; they'd like to, but they can't!