Cross your eyes enough and they'll get stuck like that! (You mean like Uncle Rupert?) And if everybody jumped off a cliff I suppose you would too, right? (With a bungee, dude) You'll put someone's eye out! (Cool...pirates!) No running with the scissors! (I'll keep it to a mild sprint) This'll hurt me more than it's going to hurt you... (Masochist!) Do you think money grows on trees? (No, it's a vine) You're grounded! (Yeah, me and all the ValuJet pilots) As long as you live under my roof you live by my rules! (See ya!) I'll turn this car around right now! (Four lanes each way near Myrtle Beach, I don't think so) Life's not always a bowl of cherries (No, sometimes it's a boatload) Finish those peas, there are people starving in India! (Right, all they have are these lousy peas!) With friends like that you don't need enemies (Yeah, but they're a helluva lotta fun) We just want what's best for you (Translation: You wish you could've done what I just did) I don't care what Johnny Smith's mom lets him do - you can't! (Someday Johnny Smith'll be driving a Bentley) You've got to make the bed you sleep in (I'd rather make it in the bed I sleep in) In my day we knew the meaning of a dollar (Yeah, that's all you could make in an hour) It builds character (It sucks!)