I'M A SENIOR CITIZEN and proud of it -- I'm the life of the party...even when it lasts until 8 p.m.

I'm very good at opening childproof caps with a hammer.

I'm usually interested in going home -before I get to where I am going.

I'm good on a trip for at least an hour without my aspirin and antacid.

I'm the first one to find the bathroom wherever I go.

I'm awake many hours before my body allows me to get up.

I'm smiling all the time because I can't hear a word you're saying.

I'm very good at telling stories.....over - - - and over -- - and over.

I'm aware that other people's grandchildren are not as bright as mine.

I'm so cared for: long term care, eye care, Medicare, dental care.

I'm not grouchy, I just don't like traffic, waiting, crowds or politicians.

I'm positive I did housework correctly before my mate retired.

I'm sure everything I can't find is in a secure place.

I'm wrinkled, saggy, and lumpy and that's just my left leg.

I'm having trouble remembering simple words like........?

I'm realizing that aging is not for sissies.

I'm walking more (to the bathroom) and enjoying it less.

I'm going to reveal what goes on behind closed doors, absolutely nothing!

I'm sure they are making adults much younger these days.

I'm in the initial stage of my golden years: SS, CD's, IRA'S and AARP.

I'm a walking storeroom of facts -- I've just lost the key to it.

I'm a SENIOR CITIZEN and I think I am having the time of my life!!

Now if I could only remember who sent this to me, I wouldn't be sending it back to them.

You didn't send it, did you?