If a bus station is where a bus stops, a train station is where a train stops... on my desk I have a work station... Can atheists get insurance for acts of God? If Fed Ex and UPS were to merge, would they call it Fed UP? Does fuzzy logic tickle? If they arrested the Energizer Bunny, would they charge it with battery? I believe five out of four people have trouble with fractions. How come you never hear about gruntled employees? I don't have a solution, but I admire your problem. If a tin whistle is made out of tin (and it is), then what exactly is a fog horn made out of? If quitters never win, and winners never quit, how can you "Quit while you're ahead"? Okay, who stopped the payment on my reality check? Why is it that the only time the phone seems to ring, or people come to my door... is when I'm in the bathroom? Do Lipton employees take coffee breaks? What hair color do they put on the driver's licenses of bald men? What WAS the best thing before sliced bread? If it's zero degrees outside today and it's supposed to be twice as cold tomorrow, how cold is it going to be? Why do you press harder on a remote-control when you know the battery is dead? Since Americans throw rice at weddings, do Orientals throw hamburgers? Why are they called apartments, when they're all stuck together? Why do people without a watch look at their wrist when you ask them what time it is? Why do banks charge you a "non-sufficient funds fee" on money they already know you don't have? Does the reverse side also have a reverse side? Is the opposite of something... nothing? If the universe is everything, and scientists say that the universe is expanding, what is it expanding into? What would a chair look like if your knees bent the other way? If a tree falls in the forest and no one is around to see it, do the other trees make fun of it? Why is a carrot more orange than an orange? When two airplanes almost collide why do they call it a near miss? Wouldn't that be a near hit? Why are there 5 syllables in the word "monosyllabic"? Why do they call it the Department of Interior when they are in charge of everything outdoors? When I erase a word with a pencil, where does it go? Why is it when a door is open, it's ajar, but when a jar is open, it's not a door? Why is it that if you tell someone that there are 400 billion stars, they'll believe you... but if you tell someone it's wet paint, they have to touch it? How come Superman could stop bullets with his chest, but always ducked when someone threw a gun at him? If "con" is the opposite of "pro," then what is the opposite of progress? Why is lemon juice mostly artificial ingredients but dishwashing liquid contains real lemons? Why do we wait until a pig is dead to "cure" it?