A Christmas Bridge Poem NORTH S AKQJ1098765432 H ------- D ------- C ------- WEST EAST S ---- S----- H A H J2 D 86542 D AKQJ10973 C J1098765 C AKQ SOUTH S ---- H KQ109876543 D ----- C 432 'Twas the duplicate Christmas party and needless to say, The punch and the season had made us quite gay "Find your seats and shuffle, " the director had said As visions of first place danced in my head When I checked our position, I got dry in the mouth We'd been assigned Table One in seats North and South Just little ol' novices, my partner and me We'd come in fourth once but never placed three Had a cruel fate decided to put us to test With two Life Masters in seats East and West. We'd book our positions and said not a word, But I'm certain our heart beats could loudly be heard. We shuffled the cards without blinking an eye (I dropped one on the floor and I thought I would die) As North I was dealer and though I was green I knew that to open one must have thirteen. I spread out my hand for a count...but alas, With only ten points, I had no choice but to pass. (And frankly, I thought that this was a shame, I'd never had that many spades in a game.) My left-hand opponent- use East for her name Opened up with two diamonds...oh what a shame. My partner called South, was trembling with fear And her bid of two hearts came across to my ear My right-hand opponent sat straight in her chair, Three hearts was what she chose to declare. Despite my good suit, again and alas For with no help in hearts, I just had to pass. My left-hand opponent now called out three spades (you can imagine by this how I was amazed) (My partner, in South, said four hearts (Oh shoot) If they get the bid, I can't lead her best suit) My right-hand opponent re-studied her hand And soon seven no-trump came forth in command It was my turn to bid and just to save face I doubled because thy were missing my Ace. The next three bids went pass, pass, pass Ready was I to lead a spade, but alas My partner was nervous and led her heart King (A lead out of turn-what a horrible thing) The director was called, and I can still hear her voice As she told the declarer she could make her own choice. Now, her singleton heart, you must understand, Could be the only entry he would have to her hand So he turned to me and looking so smart, She said, Lead any suit except for a heart.! Then of course I came out with my fourth-best spade I guess it's the best lead I ever made- Cause from then I never lost the lead. And our opponent Life Masters could naught but concede. Thirteen tricks we took off the top. (When we won the board I thought I would pop) Now I ask you, honest, with a board like this The rest of the game-well, how could we miss? And I heard the director ask, "Who was the lass Who held thirteen spades--and managed to pass? After winning first place, though still full of fright Meery Christmas we called, and all said Goodnight! PS. Merry Christmas to you and may you get three voids too!!